I Tried, I Failed

Knocked on all doors which came my way,
I tried to start fresh each new day,
And when I failed I tried again,
yet it ends in tears and pain.

When all was lost, the end was near,
I still trudged along quelling fear,
to see the Sun after the rain,
yet it ends in tears and pain.

To give up this sad fight so soon,
I admit my defeat by June,
it’s my fault so I can’t complain,
yet it ends in tears and pain.

~AJ

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Conversations with Sorrow

“How do you always find me?
even when I am cloaked
in the sounds of laughter and mirth
even in the middle of spring?”
The shackles tightened with every word.

“Because you are me and I am you.
and without you I cannot thrive”

“How do you always drown me?
even when others are around me
holding fast and lending me strength
unknown to my inner world”
I can often feel your frigid breath.

“Without me, you will be lost.
You will be gone.”

“How do you always claim me?
even when I don’t know me
I don’t know my heart and my soul
yet you seem to recognise their ache”
Your shadows dwell in my deepest fears.

“I will never disappear,
accompanying you to the very end”

Tell me, how do you always choose me?”

~AJ

Ode To Lost Friendships

We all lose friends
the ones we grew up with
the ones we lived with
the ones we travelled with

We all lose friends
even when we thought
that our friendship was
built to last forever

We all lose friends
though we think we haven’t
and they are still there
but they are long gone

We all lose friends
to fights, to sickness, to death,
to distance, to misunderstandings,
and to life, both ours and theirs

We all lose friends
some we loved like family
some we couldn’t live without
some in the abyss of forget

But they are never really gone
they dwell in memories
where they will always
complete the puzzle of our pasts

 

Have You Lived Enough?

How will you cross the mountain pass?
with nothing but a frozen heart.
How will you swim against the rapids?
when your brimstone heart weighs you down.
How will you touch the stormy skies?
a tempest ravages your heart.

Has your body worn out enough?
with blood flowing like sand in glass.
Has your numb mind made up its mind?
when you forgot to find its key.
Has your black soul swallowed you whole?
A chassis as fragile as glass.

Will you exist in memories
when you enter the chasm of
eternity? Or will you drown
in the nothingness that you came
from? Then where will you finally
rest your worn heart made of blue glass?

~AJ

There She Goes

There she goes, she goes back to same,
she goes from white love to black blame.
She’ll insist on selling them a
river to the sea of mayhem.

Give her your solemn bandaged heart
and wait as she rips it apart.
She guides you by her fingers numb;
river to the sea of mayhem.

There she goes, she goes back to light,
leaving you lost without a sight,
without hope, swept away in the
river to the sea of mayhem.

~AJ