I Tried, I Failed

Knocked on all doors which came my way,
I tried to start fresh each new day,
And when I failed I tried again,
yet it ends in tears and pain.

When all was lost, the end was near,
I still trudged along quelling fear,
to see the Sun after the rain,
yet it ends in tears and pain.

To give up this sad fight so soon,
I admit my defeat by June,
it’s my fault so I can’t complain,
yet it ends in tears and pain.

~AJ

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Touch Me Before You Are Gone

We
were left
all alone
waging a war
against the whole world
snatching away our hopes
pushing us to the corner
and dissevering us apart
I know that we stand on the edges
of crushing reality and our dreams
Lost in fleeting memories, we slowly fade
Alas! We will be no more, but your touch remains.

~AJ

Conversations with Sorrow

“How do you always find me?
even when I am cloaked
in the sounds of laughter and mirth
even in the middle of spring?”
The shackles tightened with every word.

“Because you are me and I am you.
and without you I cannot thrive”

“How do you always drown me?
even when others are around me
holding fast and lending me strength
unknown to my inner world”
I can often feel your frigid breath.

“Without me, you will be lost.
You will be gone.”

“How do you always claim me?
even when I don’t know me
I don’t know my heart and my soul
yet you seem to recognise their ache”
Your shadows dwell in my deepest fears.

“I will never disappear,
accompanying you to the very end”

Tell me, how do you always choose me?”

~AJ

Ode To Lost Friendships

We all lose friends
the ones we grew up with
the ones we lived with
the ones we travelled with

We all lose friends
even when we thought
that our friendship was
built to last forever

We all lose friends
though we think we haven’t
and they are still there
but they are long gone

We all lose friends
to fights, to sickness, to death,
to distance, to misunderstandings,
and to life, both ours and theirs

We all lose friends
some we loved like family
some we couldn’t live without
some in the abyss of forget

But they are never really gone
they dwell in memories
where they will always
complete the puzzle of our pasts

 

No Skin

Promise that you will hold me, love.
even when I can’t feel your touch.
Promise me that you will find me,
even when I can’t do you much.

Certain nights when my heart grows cold,
promise that you will hold me, love,
you will purge me and redeem me.
More so when you can’t grasp my love.

You said you wanted to know me
everything and my heart whole.
Promise that you will hold me, love,
and I swear I will bare my soul.

You should know that I will wager-
this world, my hell, the heavens above.
For you, I’ll try to endeavour.
Just promise that you’ll hold me, love.

~AJ

A Lonely Lighthouse and its Castaway

We flood the seas in the dark
We flood the seas when it rains
We flood the seas in the smoke
That rolls above the waves
We spend most days leisurely
We struggle a few nights
We survive on bare necessities
That is why we thrive
We guide them ships by the bay
We bring them past the crags
We saved a thousand lives
That is why we strive
To see the capricious seas
That ne’er change
To see the shifting stars and moon
That ne’er vanish
To see the many sails
That ne’er fold
The irony
Everything changes
Yet nothing does
We spent a lifetime in this tower
and no one knew that we weren’t there.

~AJ

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The Trickster’s Song

Trust in me
for I will lead you to
the brilliant sunlit gardens that
you yearned for wandering in these sultry marshes
without your struggling feet sinking
and your heart’s slow drumming
feeling faint
I will lead you to it
to escape this dreary life’s struggle
you’ll never have to worry about tomorrow
a paradise free of cold and dark
you have always dreamed of
Trust in me

~AJ